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Cultivation Chat Group
One day, Song Shuhang was suddenly added to a chat group with many seniors that suffered from chuuni disease. The people inside the group would call each other ‘Fellow Daoist’ and had all different kinds of titles: Palace Master, Cave Lord, True Monarch, Immortal Master, etc. Even the pet of the founder of the group that had run away from home was called ‘monster dog’. They would talk all day about pill refining, exploring ancient ruins, or share their experience on techniques.
However, after lurking inside the group for a while, he discovered that not all was what it seemed…
Status: 1497 Chapters (Ongoing)
Where to read: Webnovel
Comment: Comedy Punches in Every Chapter. The plot is very smooth and very interesting. The plot centers around cultivation. Little or no Romance.
This novel has a comic adaptation as well and it is well done.
The following Chapter is Added here with the Permission of Webnovel.
Chapter 1: True Monarch Yellow Mountain and Nine Provinces Number One Group
2019, May 20th, Monday.
The end of spring and the start of summer.
During this period, the day and night temperature in Jiangnan District fluctuated drastically. During the day, one would sweat buckets in thin clothing, but during the night, one would tremble under even a thick blanket.
Jiangnan College Town.
At 2:30 pm in the afternoon, students should attend classes, and yet Song Shuhang was alone in the dormitory with his laptop set on the desk next to him, allowing him to watch movies while in bed.
Song Shuhang wasn’t someone fond of skipping lessons. The weather yesterday during the first half of the night was extremely hot and stuffy, resulting in him executing a ‘Dragon Roaring Kick’ and making the quilt fly away; in the latter half of the night, the temperature dropped sharply, and Shuhang who only had small underpants on him had suffered. During his sleep, both his hands were strenuously groping about in search for his blanket, but alas, he was unable to find it, shrinking like a shrimp and trembling under the tyrannical cold night wind.
When the sun rose, he had already become a member of the seasonal flu army. His roommate had helped him apply for leave for the day’s lessons; afterwards, he took some cold medicine before sleeping until now.
Although his fever had subsided, his body still felt weak and he was not in a proper state to attend lessons. Therefore, he could only stay in the dormitory alone and watch movies.
On the screen, the movie slowly played on, but Song Shuhang could not focus well on its contents.
“Hasn’t the medicine’s effect faded yet? I’m tired…” he yawned and felt his eyelids getting heavier.
“Beep Beep Beep~” Just then, the chat software on tray on his laptop screen came alive.
This sound was a notification that someone added him as friend or invited him to a group chat.
“Who added me?” Song Shuhang muttered while reaching out and touching the lower right corner of his screen gently. Immediately after, a message prompt popped out.
[True Monarch Yellow Mountain (*****) sends you a friend request.] Additional message: None.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain? Who used such a strange nickname?
‘A classmate I guess?’ Song Shuhang quietly thought and couldn’t help but recall a few of his classmates that were obviously already in university, but seemed to still be in their youth fantasy period. Guessing from their behavior, they would definitely be capable of coming up with such strange nicknames.
After reasoning with himself, he then pressed “Accept”.
Shortly after, another notification popped out.
[True Monarch Yellow Mountain has invited you to join the group ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group, do you accept?]
Song Shuhang accepted once more.
‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books has agreed to join the ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.
[You have joined the group chat, do say hello to the other group members! ????] A smiley face was even attached by the system.
Nowadays, chat software was definitely getting more and more human-like.
After a series of notifications, Song Shuhang decided to turn off the notifications and the group chat window— with a sudden surge of drowsiness washing over him, where would he have the strength to care about the chat group he was invited to?
In any case, his default group settings had been set up as [Don’t display notifications, only show group chat message number]. This meant that there would not be any notification prompts disturbing him and only the number of unread messages would be displayed beside the chat.
When he was more clear-headed, he could scroll the chat history to find out what type of chat group he was invited to. Also, the chat history of the members in the group would not disappear.
He felt his eyelids getting heavier…
Despite the movie streaming continuously, Song Shuhang’s consciousness was getting more and more fuzzy.
Noticing a new member has been added to the Nine Provinces Number One Group, the lurking members emerged.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Did True Monarch Yellow Mountain invite a new fellow friend? Hasn’t it been a year since a new member joined us?”
Another member with the ID of ‘Su Clan’s Seven’ quickly replied, “There’s a new fellow daoist? Is he from Mt Hua? Where’s the immortal cave he’s cultivating in? What’s his dao name? Which stage of cultivation is he at?”
Why did this series of questions sound fishy?
Simultaneously, a user with the ID ‘Thrice Reckless Mad Saber wrote’, “What’s the gender of our new fellow daoist? Are you a fairy? If so, please announce your three sizes and upload a photo!”
Looking at Su Clan’s Seven and Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s messages, many of the lurking members within the group felt their mouths twitch.
“Brother Thrice Reckless, do you belong to a goldfish species or something?” Northern River’s Loose Cultivator sighed. “What if True Monarch Yellow Mountain had invited another senior? You may bring disaster upon yourself once again!”
Thrice Reckless… this fella was good in every aspect, being a loyal person and eager to help others, thus his relations with others were pretty good—it was just that his uncouth tongue would pack him into life and death situations.
Unfortunately, this fella was so unlucky that it made one have goosebumps. The timing didn’t matter—whenever he was reckless, he had always offended powerful seniors. These seniors who were all lacking in entertainment would naturally be happy to kill some time by torturing Thrice Reckless Mad Saber who sent himself right to their doorstep.
“I beg you, do not to mention the word ‘powerful senior’… it is a traumatic experience that still haunts me,” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber sent a row of ????????????.
Four years ago, he had offended a beautiful ‘powerful senior’ with his stupid mouth and got tortured really badly… that senior had tormented him non-stop for one year and four months. Yes, that’s right, a total of one year and four months! Thinking back to his extremely inhumane years, his eyes started to tear up.
Just when Thrice Reckless finished talking, the group members all sent a ???? one by one—not at all concealing, but instead openly rejoicing at his misfortune.
There were eight members whose status was ‘online’ within the chat, and six of them had sent a sent a row of smiley faces.
“You bunch of schadenfreude as*holes, this lord has remembered every one of you. Don’t even let me meet you, or else I shall let you to have a taste of my Seventy-Two Swift Saber Strikes!” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber grudgingly replied. He was confident in his swift saber and the six fellas who were laughing weren’t his opponents in a one-on-one fight.
Just when Thrice Reckless Mad Saber finished talking, another ???? appeared within the group. It was Su Clan’s Seven who sent it.
Shortly after, Su Clan’s Seven excitedly said, “When are we having the duel?”
Evidently, Su Clan’s Seven hadn’t actually wanted to rejoice at his misfortune—he’d just wanted an opponent for a fight.
“…” Thrice Reckless Mad Saber instantly lost his spirit.
Why? Because he couldn’t win against Seven!
He had a profound cultivation base, having reached the late stage of Fifth Stage Spiritual Emperor Realm, just two steps away from becoming a Sixth Stage True Monarch. However, he was unable to defeat Seven.
Despite having his fast and fierce Seventy-Two Swift Saber Strikes, along with a lightning fast footwork , he was still unable to win against him.
He was called mad saber, and even he himself was afraid of his angry self. But even then, he was really no match for Seven!
After seeing Thrice Reckless losing his momentum, the members within the group sent another wave of ????????????
“…” This time, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber could only depressingly send an ellipsis.
The group was puzzled—despite them making a din for half a day, the newcomer had yet to appear.
“Our new dao friend isn’t speaking?” Northern River Loose Cultivator asked.
Unfortunately, due to the medicine’s effect, Song Shuhang had once again entered a state of being half-sleep .
Just then, Su Clan’s Seven happily sent a message. “I just took a look, our new dao friend is named ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’. Has anyone heard of an expert with this dao name? His name seems as if he’s a member of the scholarly faction? It sure makes me look forward to it! After all, the location of that sect is hidden quite well. It has been a few hundred years since I’ve last had a fight with them! Thinking back, fighting them is more pleasurable than dueling buddhist monks. Not only do they have a glib tongue, their punches are powerful too! When they are in the mood, they would also heroically start reciting poems to liven things up, making it multiple times more fun! I love fighting with them the most.”
“Seven, are your expectations towards new dao friends only limited to having fun fighting with them?” Reckless Mad Saber sent a ????. This was basically an evil tyrant’s way of doing things!
“Erm.” Su Clan seven was slightly embarrassed.
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator said, “Could it be another ‘powerful senior’ that is unacquainted with such chat software?????”
Having said that, apparently several people found this scene familiar?
That’s right, about four years ago there was another senior that came out after hundreds years of closed-door cultivation and only managed to open the messaging application with great difficulty. Then, she was invited by True Monarch Yellow Mountain into the group. However, she did not send any messages as she didn’t know how to type.
Afterwards, a fella named Thrice Reckless Mad Saber happily teased this powerful senior and requested for her three sizes, photos, voice chat, and such.
Subsequently.. a few days later, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber personally met this senior. She was very beautiful, as dazzling as the bright moon in the night sky.
Then, this alluring senior had tortured Thrice Reckless Mad Saber for one year and four months before she was perfectly satisfied and left.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber was instantly overwhelmed and fell silent.
“Yellow Mountain?” Just then, someone with the ID ‘Medicine Master’ sent a message.
An unfathomable short message.
Luckily, everyone in the chat had long become accustomed to Medicine Master sending short messages—he was asking where True Monarch Yellow Mountain was.
The reason Medicine Master sent short messages wasn’t due to his lofty personality, but because he used only two fingers and handwriting pad to type, therefore his speed was extremely slow. Also, there was a higher chance of making typos in a long text, plus deleting and writing anew was simply painful. Therefore, Medicine Master had a habit of only sending short messages. Over time, Medicinal Master was then labeled as someone whose words were as rare as gold when he communicated with the rest.
“He went offline immediately after sending the invitation. Apparently, his darling monster dog had angrily ran away from his house again and True Monarch Yellow Mountain went to chase him. Taking care of that precious monster dog and coming online to add him to the group sure isn’t an easy task for True Monarch, he’s definitely super busy right now,” Northern River’s Loose Cultivator replied.
Medicine Master: ”…”
“We can only wait for the new dao friend to learn to use the chat software,” Su Clan’s seven sighed . They were all biased, thinking the new member was one of them.
The few members online weren’t entertained looking at how unresponsive the new dao friend was and went offline one after another.
Around an hour later, Song Shuhang gradually woke up.
“I think someone had invited me to a group earlier on, the chat room’s name was… Nine Provinces Group?” He muttered quietly while opening the chat software; a window containing the chat room of Nine Provinces group popped up.
What exactly was this group?
Quickly, the chat history from an hour ago appeared before him.
Song Shuhang briefly skimmed through the messages.
Dao friend? Cave dwelling? Which stage of cultivation is he at?
There’s also seniors, True Monarch, this lord? Chasing after huge monster dog?
Different kinds of vocabulary coming out straight from Xianxia novels were used.
The way they spoke was also interesting—half ancient half modern, half plain and half serpentine. It gave the feeling of modern people attempting to converse using ancient dialects but their fundamentals in old language falling short, making it awkward while communicating.
“Pu~~” Song Shuhang laughed.
Looks like this was a group created for Xianxia enthusiasts?
Oh wait, this was absolutely not a normal Xianxia fan group!
Everyone within the group had picked a dao name for themselves and their dwelling was called a cultivation cave, while the administrator’s missing house pet had to be described as a huge monster dog that ran away from home. Not only that, some even professed to have not fought a member of scholarly faction for more than a century. In other words, those people were claiming that they’ve lived several hundred years or so?
Just by looking at this chat log brought about a feeling of shame and embarrassment.
‘This degree of infatuation has already reached the degree of suffering from chuunibyou . Ah, right, they’re a group specific to traditional Chinese xianxia,’ Song Shuhang secretly concluded.
It seemed that it was probably a gathering of chuunibyou fellas.
This was the first impression he had of the members in ‘Nine Provinces Number One Group’.
However, why would he be invited by them?
Song Shuhang was certain that True Monarch Yellow Mountain was not a classmate he knew and neither did he recognize him after looking at his profile.
Was he added by mistake?
Ultimate Scheming System
I am the best when it comes to taking divergent paths. With just a flip of my hand, I shall take the path less commonly traveled. I search far and wide, only to find myself unbeatable and unrivaled. So now I ask, who else can match my awesomeness?
Acting tough is second nature to me and I am a lone wolf.
The road is long and winding but I shan’t feel lonely as long as I am able to act tough!
Life and death bore me and I do whatever I deem fit.
“Young man, way back when I started acting tough, you were still learning how to put on your underpants!” Xu Que thus decided to take the path of acting tough. He decided to act tough every single day. If he wasn’t acting tough, he was scheming for the best way to act tough!
Status: 1,566 Chapters (Hiatus)
Where to read: Webnovel
If you Love Ultimate Scheming System, You should read Keyboard Immortal.
The following Chapter is added here with the permission of Webnovel.
Chapter 1: I have the System, I’m the Best
A single ray of sunlight shone down and pierced through the eyelids of Xu Que who was asleep but was abruptly awoken by it.
He felt an itch on his face and noticed that he was lying in a field of grass.
“Didn’t I die in a car accident? How could I still be alive?”
He was astonished and was still unable to wrap his head around on how he managed to escape death. All these thoughts paled in comparison to the sight before him which made his eyes gape wide open in shock.
After that, his expression turned perplexed!
He could see a girl which looked like an immortal, dressed in ancient clothes and was facing the spot he’s lying at. She was gently pulling down her olden day clothing as she squatted down…
That girl. Could she be trying to…
No way! She can’t do that!
Such a gorgeous looking girl. How could she urinate just about anywhere? And such an upright and straightforward person like myself, how can I peep at her relieving herself?
Xu Que opened his eyes wider.
His eyes remained transfixed upon that gorgeous looking girl as she lifted up her outer skirt completely before slowly pulling down her undergarment bit by bit. As she pulls it down, he could see more of her fair and tender flesh and along with it came a fragrant, womanly scent.
Seeing this scene unfold before him rendered him unable to remain calm.
He noticed that by the way she faced him, she would probably end up urinating all over his head. Xu Que hurriedly stuck his head out of the dense and tall grass and shouted loudly.
“Miss, what do you think you’re doing? How can you just urinate anywhere you feel like!?”
Everything seemed to freeze as the tension rose.
The girl was still in a squatting position while her entire body froze in shock. And then…
She let out a shrill shout and released the outer skirt which she had lifted up, her entire body seemed to be shaking with that extended shout. She then stepped onto a flying sword and flew up into the sky.
Fuck. What the hell is that? An actual flying sword?
So it seems like she’s really a damned immortal, huh?
Xu Que was taken aback. At the same time, a great number of memories, both foreign and familiar, welled up within his mind. These memories were so lifelike that they almost felt as if he had experienced them himself.
Crossed over! I’ve fucking crossed over!
He then hurriedly screened through the memories that didn’t belong to him, gaining a clear understanding of his present circumstances.
This was a cultivation world. Just like the furious looking immortal who rode on a flying sword before him, people could cultivate and become immortals with different powers and abilities.
And this body which he now owned belongs to a Prince Consort. However, this Prince Consort was an extremely unlucky person.
He was just a poor orphan boy, yet possessed a special, one in a million type of spiritual root.
When he was younger, the Emperor saw his innate talents and thus decided to raise him to the position of Prince Consort to marry his daughter. He thus provided him with countless of treasures and materials for him to utilize in his cultivation efforts. In a short span of six years, he managed to condense the abdominal core and crossed into the Golden Core stage.
The day he managed to cross into the Golden Core stage was the same day he finally consummated his marriage to the Princess. Thus began the seven consecutive days and nights spent on the marital bed, which concluded with the beautiful Princess stealing away all of his cultivation essences away from him in his weakened state. Even his spiritual roots weren’t spared as she acquired them all.
The newly wedded Prince Consort was thus turned into a cripple without his spiritual roots and essences. As a cripple, he was no longer of any value to the palace and therefore, he was secretly dragged out of the palace in the dead of the night and brought to a deserted place. He was killed there and his body remained in ruins.
“Ai, what a shame!”
After separating his own memories from those of belonging to this body, Xu Que’s face was full of regret. He shook his head and sighed regretfully, “Damn it! Why didn’t I crossover earlier to the time when I could have those crazy bed exercise with the gorgeous princess?”
Just recalling the memories of the beautiful looking Princess in bed, with her ecstatic eyebrows creased up, her wonderous figure, and that ragged breathing was enough to make Xu Que feel it was a pity to not have been there earlier!
“What audacity, you pervert. How dare you peep at me while I’m relieving myself. I shall claim your life for this!”
At this point, a cute sounding voice rang out, coming from that immortal from earlier on.
Her face was a deep shade of red from shame and anger. In addition, an unmistakable killing intent radiated from her eyes. The sword beneath her feet was hovering over the ground, looking sharp and deadly as it charged towards Xu Que, trying to kill him.
“Damn it. Miss immortal, this has to be a misunderstanding. It was clearly you who aimed your pink butt at where I was sleeping in. And… Even if you wish to kill me to relieve yourself of the anger, can you please pull up your skirt first? With you looking this way, it takes all the energy out of my legs, making it hard for me to run away!”
Xu Que then gave a loud cry as he turned around to flee.
The expression of the girl changed and her ears turned red. She then bent over to pull up her skirt before making a spitting sound in contempt. “Damn pervert, you’re looking for death.” The sword beneath her feet started moving faster as she soared towards Xu Que with a whooshing sound.
Xu Que ran like a madman, as he thinks a way to escape.
All of a sudden, an inspiration flashed across his mind.
He halted and pulled out a familiar looking tile from his robes and turned to the girl, shouting as loudly as he could, “How dare you, demonic woman. I am the Prince Consort of Fire Country. You dare to be disrespectful to me? Watch your step, or I shall kill off nine generations from your family tree.
At this point, Xu Que could hear a series of “dings” in his head, coming from the system.
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for activating the Acting Tough, Face Slapping System. This system shall help you to survive, protect you, assist in your acting tough and ensuring that you shall soar to the heavens!”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for successfully acting tough. The reward is 1 acting tough point. Do you wish to enter the store to exchange points for rewards?”
“The system detects that the host ‘Xu Que’ is too weak, and would be unable to survive in such a world of advanced difficulty. A special bag is thus given in order to increase your survivability. Do you wish to open the bag?”
Just as the message rang out, he could see a window pop up before him, as information could be seen scattered across the screen.
Host: Xu Que
Cultivation Stage: Normal Person (His arms are as weak as chickens)
Experience Points: 0/100
Acting Tough Points: 1 point
Skill Path: None
Status: Prince Consort of Eastern Fire Country
Xu Que first sucked in a deep breath of air before laughing out uncontrollably.
What is this acting tough, face slapping system? Just by the sound of it, it seemed like it was customized specifically for me. This system shall help me to break the rules of heaven to rebel against it! This is going to be fun.
“Pervert, your death is fast approaching. What are you laughing about?”
All of a sudden, a sweet sounding voice interrupted Xu Que’s laughter, bringing him back down from his madness.
The girl had already moved towards him ‘till she was standing just ten meters away from him. The flying sword which she stood on was now in her hands. Her huge eyes were looking at him warily.
Xu Que’s eyes squinted as he thought for some time before bursting out in cold laughter once again. “I am the Prince Consort of the Eastern Firelands! I can look at the highly esteemed Princess anytime I wish. You look quite pretty yourself and for the Prince Consort to look at you is your good fortune! Don’t think that just because you wield a flying sword, you can shout loudly about slaughtering me. The Prince Consort standing before you has the talent that was only seen once in hundreds of years. Why should I be afraid of a mere servant such as yourself? Come, come, come… You wish to fight me don’t you? If you have the guts to, take one more step towards me.”
“Ding! Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for successfully acting tough. The reward is one acting tough point.”
Just as expected, the system rang out within his ears once more as he burst out in another fit of uncontrollable laughter.
So, it seemed like this acting tough, face slapping system takes its name very literally. As long as I act tough, I can gain acting tough point. With these points, I can ascend through the ranks and earn the different rewards from the system…
“Oh, that’s right. There seems to be a gift I haven’t unwrapped.” Xu Que could see a flash in his eyes as he shouted out in his mind, “Open the gift.”
Instantly, the page in his vision changed and a box appeared. The box opened as several beams of light streamed out before disappearing.
“Congratulations host ‘Xu Que’ for obtaining the Beginner’s Experience Pill. Using the pill would give 10,000 experience points.”
Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for obtaining two pieces of Beginner’s Divine Escape Emblem. Using this emblem would enable the host to teleport to a random place within 5 kilometers.”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for obtaining the beginner’s <Ancient Five Elemental Arts>. <Notice : Beginner chapters can only cultivate up to the Foundation Building Stage. The next chapters must be purchased from the store.>”
“Ding! It’s been detected that the host ‘Xu Que’ has damaged spiritual roots and doesn’t fulfill the requirements for cultivation. The system shall help repair your spiritual roots.”
Instantaneously, Xu Que felt like a surge of electricity passed through his entire body, causing his scalp to go numb.
Following that strange sensation was a feeling of extreme comfort. The pores all over his body opened up completely, greedily devouring Qi from all around.
Soon, he could feel his body his body undergoing a tremendous change as it started becoming closer to nature. It was almost as if he could integrate with nature and even control it.
However, he was very familiar with this feeling. All those years ago, before his fire spiritual roots was taken away by the Princess, he felt that same familiar feeling with fire. Today, not only did the system repair his broken fire spiritual roots, it also gave him all the other elements.
Metal, fire, water, wood and earth. Each and every single element was granted to him. In fact, all of these elements were upgraded to the highest, “Celestial” level.
This is the best for me to rebel against the heavens!
At this point, Xu Que couldn’t hold it in any further and shouted loudly as he waved his arms, “With the system in my hands, this world belongs to me! What dogshit Emperor of the Fire Country. Wait till I, Xu Que, attain the highest level and return for my revenge. Then, I shall trample upon all of you and crush you into fragments.”
“What audacity, you pervert! You claimed to be the Prince Consort of the Fire Country and yet you dare to speak such crazed words and insult the Emperor?” The girl beside him was stunned by his words. Was this Prince Consort crazy? How dare he speak such words of rebellion against the Emperor.
“Ding, congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for successfully acting tough. The reward is one acting tough point.”
Xu Que then regained his senses as his lips twitched. Damn it. I was looking too far ahead into the future of acting tough that I almost forgot the trouble before me. I have to hurry and think of a way to escape.
“Right, the experience pill!”
He then recalled the existence of the Beginner’s Experience Pill within his new inventory.
Without any further hesitation, he hurriedly used his mind to operate the information interface to open it. Three items then appeared from within.
“Use it, use it.” Xu Que eyed two of the three objects and shouted in his heart.
In his mind, he could hear a series of messages from the system:
“Ding! Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for successfully cultivating <Ancient Five Elemental Arts>
“Ding! Host ‘Xu Que’ used the Beginner’s Experience Pill and received 10,000 experience points.”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for levelling up. The current stage is Qi Refining Level 1.”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for levelling up. The current stage is Qi Refining Level 2.”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for levelling up. The current stage is Qi Refining Level 3.”
“Congratulations to host ‘Xu Que’ for levelling up. The current stage is Qi Refining Level 10.”
In just a short span of time, Xu Que evolved from a normal person with strength like a chicken to a cultivation being, straight into the Qi Refining Stage. He was just a step short of transcending into the Foundation Building Stage.
In addition, he was much stronger than a normal cultivator at level 10 of the Qi Refining Stage.
The reason was because he had all five different elements of spiritual roots. This meant that he had five times the strength of a normal person.
Furthermore, with five different elements of spiritual roots that could combine together and supported each other, the amount of force that could be exerted was more than just five times. It was much greater than that.
“At this point, there’s nothing more to say. If I’m not unrivalled, who is unrivalled?”
Xu Que’s heart pounded furiously in his chest.
At this point, the girl facing him danced and swayed as a beam of light descended from the heavens, parting the clouds as it sharpened her sword. Before he could even bat an eyelid, she swung the sword at him like a poisonous snake darting in for its victim.
“Fuck, immortal fairy lady. I was just asking a gorgeous thing such as yourself to allow your master, the Prince Consort to take a good look at you. Who told you to draw your sword? That was a surprise attack, a hidden attempt at my life!”
Xu Que was taken aback as he jumped in fear, seeing the flying sword soaring right at him and he cursed out loudly.
As he shouted out in fear and surprise, his body reacted instinctively, as he legs slid backwards, avoiding the sword. His finger then seemed to harness the powers of water Qi as he gently tapped on the surface of the incoming sword.
A vibrating sound rang out as the sword ricocheted away from him.
“How… How could it be?”
The girl was temporarily stunned. Apart from the skillful and powerful uncles within her sect, the senior brothers and sisters who could repel this flying sword with such ease would at least have to be of the sixth level of the Foundation Building Stage!
“I am extremely puzzled. I already said that everything that happened earlier was a misunderstanding and you’re still confused? You still have the cheek to make an attempt on my life? Don’t think I won’t hit you just because you’re a pretty little fairy immortal. Anyway, I didn’t even get a clear look at you. At this point, I shall take a good look at you once more. This time, openly.”
Xu Que rebuked her furiously as his footsteps quickened. The earth Qi fused with his feet as his speed increased tremendously. In a blink of an eye, he appeared right in front of her.
Soon after, water Qi appeared on his palms as it surrounded all four directions around them. The girl didn’t even have time to react before she was trapped there.
“Perv… Pervert. What are you trying to do?” The girl was taken aback as she turned pale. She could feel the fire Qi within her body being severely suppressed.
“Heh heh! Since you’ve already called me a pervert, how then can I not live up to that?”
Xu Que had a cruel laugh etched across his face as his eyebrows were raised. He then extended a hand and lifted up her skirt in a quick motion.
I’m Really a Superstar
Zhang Ye was originally a mundane college graduate with aspiring dreams to become a star but unfortunately has below-average looks and height. However one day, he woke up and suddenly found himself in a parallel world!
It’s like the same world, but wait a minute…many brands, celebrities, and even famous works from his world changed and are gone in this new world!
Armed with the profound literary knowledge of his previous world and a heaven-defying Game Ring that gives him magical items, stats, and skills, Zhang Ye embarks on a journey to pursue his life-long dream of becoming famous!
Follow Zhang Ye as he takes the new world by storm, one plagiarized piece at a time, to hilarious reactions!
Status: 1696 Chapters (Banned)
Where to read: Webnovel
Chapter 1: I Want to Be a Star!
Zhang Ye felt that his life was wonderful.
Last month, he had held his 32nd solo concert.
Just a few days ago, he was invited to dinner by the Secretary General of the United Nations.
Yesterday, he was invited to be the male lead for Hollywood’s 3D science fiction blockbuster, “Railway Guerrillas”.
As an excellent artist, Zhang Ye had mixed feelings. Did he have any regrets in life? No, his life was perfect. If he was to mention a flaw in his life, uh, it would probably be the bad habit of bragging that he had never managed to get rid of.
Whatever mentioned previously was just nonsense.
Zhang Ye was, in fact, just a fresh graduate. He was an extremely ordinary person in this world. His dream was to become a celebrity. Be it a host, a singer, or an author, he just wanted to become famous. His aim was pretty high. Not only did he want to be a star, he also wanted to become the world’s top superstar. This was his life goal. He had never given up on that thought. Tomorrow, he had an interview at a radio station. He still lacked confidence and was unsure if he would succeed or not.
Maybe it was because he slept late last night, but tonight he had a dream where a few lines of words flashed across his mind.
[ Installing Game… ]
[ Authenticating Gamer… ]
[ Game is installed. You are the game’s only player. This is a game that will help the gamer realize his dreams. Gamer’s dreams and goals, checked. Game setting completed. Game line ending completed – Help gamer become the greatest superstar in the world. ]
[ Game Difficulty: Maximum. ]
[ Please wait. Randomly choosing new player incentive package. ]
[ Received reward ‘Randomly changing existing world’s background.’ ]
[ Counting down, 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…… Game Begins! ]
Chapter 2: The World After Being Altered!
The morning of the second day.
At home, Zhang Ye, who had just woken up, was still wondering about the dream from last night. As he yawned, he switched on the television to watch the news. Suddenly, he realized that there was an additional silver ring on his left pinky. It was clearly not something that belonged to him. He tried as hard as he could to take it off, but it was to no avail. Not only that, when he rubbed the surface of the ring, a touchable virtual screen suddenly appeared. It was written in the same font as the messages in his dream. It said, “Game Ring initialized. New player incentive package, “Randomly changing existing world background” is in preparation for augmentation.”
Incentive package augmentation initialization!
Following that, Zhang Ye saw an alarming scene.
The HTC phone he had thrown on the bed began twisting and strangely changed shape. Even the brand changed and ‘TCC’ was engraved on it instead. One of the two pirated Xu Zhimo’s poem collection placed by the window sill suddenly disappeared, while the other became Chen Tianmo’s poem collection.
He could not notice all the changes, as many things within his house were undergoing changes!
What alarmed Zhang Ye the most were the changes on the television. The Changhong-branded television turned into a Feitian brand, which he had never heard of. And the main thing was the content being broadcasted on the television!
“Mango TV’s new variety show, ‘Glittering Radiance’ breaks 1% viewership.”
“Wu Bang’s latest movie, ‘White Maiden’ breaks 500 million at the box office.”
“Heavenly Queen Zhang Yuanqi’s new song failed once again. She will focus on the film industry from now on.”
“Yesterday, the work of world-famous artist Dake “Blue Sky” was auctioned off in America.”
“Many people in the entertainment circle dedicated songs to the most influential Heavenly King of film of the 20th century, Chen Weishi’s, 10th anniversary memorial concert. Heavenly King Sun Yu teared up on the spot while singing.”
Zhang Ye looked at all of this for ten minutes in a state of shock. He still did not understand what had just happened. How did the television and cellphone change brands?
Heavenly Queen Zhang Yuanqi?
When was there a Heavenly Queen named Zhang Yuanqi?
And the 10th anniversary memorial concert?
Where did this Chen Weishi come out from?
How could he not have heard of him? Zhang Yuanqi?
Could it be that Zhang Ziyi had changed her stage name?
Was ‘Chen Weishi’ Eason Chen’s new name?
That can’t be right. Eason Chen is still alive!
What sort of movie was “White Maiden”?
Was it a film Bai Yansong f**king starred in?
When the f**k did he start filming movies?
Zhang Ye rushed off the bed in a panic to open the curtains. He saw everything outside changing. The two old trees by the road had disappeared. Replacing them was a flower bed. A high-rise building far in the distance had turned into a shorter building, with only six floors left. And not only had a few buildings that were originally gray in color subtly change position, even the color of the stairs had changed to a brownish-white!
Incentives augmentation has been completed!
Note: The real world’s background has been changed into a theoretical balance.
Zhang Ye’s face went pale. He picked up that unknown brand phone and looked over it. The date and time were right. Today was the day two months after he had graduated from college. After flipping through a few pages of his contacts, he purposely called a few people. His close friends were still the same, but how could the changes in the surroundings be explained? Also, what was this game ring on his hand? Had the game ring really altered reality?
Zhang Ye could not believe it as he switched on his computer to check the Internet. The more he browsed, the more frightened he became.
It had changed!
Everything had changed!
There was no one in the show hosting industry named “He Jiong” or “Xie Na”.
The music industry no longer had people like Eason Chen or Jacky Cheung.
The film industry no longer had people like Feng Xiaogang, Sun Honglei, etc.
In China and in foreign countries, people like Qi Baishi or Pablo Picasso no longer existed in the world of calligraphy or painting.
The divine song, “Perturbed”?
Mo Yan’s novels?
Beethoven’s piano pieces?
The movie, “Transformers”?
Variety show, “The Voice of China”?
The famous painting, “Mona Lisa”?
They were all gone!
Seeing all of these things being randomly changed by the unknown game, he wondered if these were the game rewards he had obtained as the sole player? However, how did reality become a game?
And what sort of game was this?
“Contra”, or “Super Mario”?
Should he use his head to smash at a wall, causing a small magical mushroom to burst out, which could make him bigger?
Of course, there were things that did not change. Some important historical figures, world patterns and social environments had not changed. The Master Kong instant noodles on the table were still the same. LV was still a world-famous brand. A lot of things had not been modified. Was this the so-called “randomness”?
Something supernatural has happened!
What the heck has happened?
At this moment, thumps were heard. Someone outside was knocking on his door. The knocks were quite loud and were definitely done by hammering the door with a lot of strength!
Zhang Ye guessed who it was and pretended not to hear it.
After the person knocked a few more times, the clinking of keys could be heard and the door was suddenly opened!
Zhang Ye looked at the person who came in. He was thinking that even though the world had changed, the landlady was still the same landlady.
A woman in her thirties walked over. She looked very beautiful. Sometimes, the two words “very beautiful” were very hard to use in describing her. For example, she had clearly just washed her hair. Her head was still wrapped in a white towel, but her beauty, which could overthrow states and cities, could not be concealed. Her figure was exceptionally good. Her skin’s elasticity was clearly revealed and it appeared very sharp.
However, one could only understand this beautiful woman’s mean side through being in close contact with her for a few days. She could be as venomous with her words as you wanted. If not, how could she still be unmarried at this age? Just that mouth of hers made many unable to tolerate her!
Seeing that Zhang Ye was at home, Rao Aimin cleared her throat and laughed without a smile, “Kid, are you trying to play hide and seek with me? Why did you not respond when I was knocking all day? Are you playing dead?”
Zhang Ye turned slightly awkward, “Landlady, you came?”
Rao Aimin conveniently sat her ass down in the living room. With a smashing sound, she slammed a calculator onto the table. Zhang Ye had seen her calculator numerous times in the past. Previously, it was a Casio brand, but now it had changed into a new brand that he had never heard of before. It started with a “K”. It even looked like the calculator businesses had been altered. “Why don’t you tell me what I’m here for? I’m here to collect rent!” Her fingers hammered on the calculator in a very well-versed fashion. “You haven’t handed over this month’s rent. Adding up last month’s utilities, I have already calculated them for you. The total becomes 2,582. I have already reminded you several times. Not one cent less is allowed! I tell you little Zhang.. I allowed you to pay rent monthly, only because you were from Beijing. Go ask around; which place would not first require you to put up a three-month rental deposit? How much special treatment have I given you?”
Zhang Ye smiled wryly, “Please give me another few more days. I really don’t have any money in hand now. Once I find a job, I’ll give it to you.”
Rao Aimin elegantly swept her fingers, “If you don’t have any money, get lost now!”
Zhang Ye pleaded, “You know my situation.The rent I previously gave you was all money from my elders. I only have that much money. If you were to chase me away, I can only return to stay with my parents. I had already told them I would move out and be independent once I graduated. How can I just go back with my face still intact? Auntie, look at our floor. The entire row’s commercial and residential apartments are all yours. Your wealth doesn’t lack just this bit of money. About this, I have an interview at the Beijing Broadcasting Television Station this afternoon. If I really become a host, I will make up for the rent once I get my salary.”
Rao Aimin glanced at him and, with contempt, said, “You? Become a host? Cut it out. With your looks and height, who would pay attention to you in a crowd of people? You only dream of becoming a star all day. You think it’s that easy to become a celebrity? If you can become a host, then this old aunt will dare to appear in the Spring Festival Ceremony tomorrow!”
Zhang Ye said, “Anyways, just give me a few more days. I…”
Rao Aimin ignored it, “No way!”
Zhang Ye said, “Don’t you see that I haven’t eaten breakfast at all for the past few days? I really don’t have enough money.”
“What do I have to do with you not eating? Eh?” Rao Aimin said with an inhumane expression.
After fussing for a long time, he managed to get the landlady to leave. After about ten minutes, Rao Aimin, who was in pajamas, came back. She did not knock on the door and immediately used her key to open the door.
Zhang Ye thought Big Sister Rao was here to reclaim her money, so he carefully said, “Landlady auntie, you…”
Rao Aimin threw a breakfast set onto the table and coldly grunted, “I couldn’t eat it alone. Kid, you lucked out. Let me tell you. Even though jobs are not easy these days, you are still a graduate from the Media College; how can you not get a job to make ends meet? Stop clinging to a single tree ‘til you hang yourself on it!”
Zhang Ye was surprised and quickly said, “Thank you. I got it.”
Rao Aimin, with her cold, beautiful face, left by slamming the door.
Zhang Ye felt his heart go warm. Looking at the breakfast on the table, it was still hot. Clearly, it was not leftovers from this older sister Rao. It was definitely something she had especially gone down to buy after she heard Zhang Ye say that he had not eaten breakfast for a few days. Zhang Ye knew older sister Rao was someone who was warm on the inside, but cold on the outside. She may have a venomous tongue, but she still cared about him. Actually, he also understood what older sister Rao meant. However, Zhang Ye had always had dreams of making it big since he was young. He wanted to stand on a stage, facing the public. As such, he had never considered doing jobs that involved being behind the scenes.
Zhang Ye went out by taking the elevator downstairs.
On the street, Zhang Ye looked all around. He realized that the road was familiar, yet strange. The billboard commercials were all celebrities he did not know. Some business shops were playing the hottest popular music that Zhang Ye had never heard before. As he walked through this familiar, yet strange, street, he found it hard to adapt. He felt like he did not match with this altered world. Many things had changed. Or, it could be said that this was no longer the world from Zhang Ye’s past.
It was August. The air was still hot and disturbing.
It was not scientific!
Zhang Ye was, after all, a graduate from a prestigious university. Of course, he could not easily accept this reality. What day and age was this? It was no longer an ancient society where superstitions such as demons and ghosts existed. Being superstitious only brought harm. This was something even elementary school kids knew. Everything boiled down to science. One had to firmly believe in the power of science. As such, Zhang Ye’s eyes turned solemn. He pulled out a one-Yuan coin from his pocket respectfully as he threw it up in the air earnestly. “If it’s heads, then this explains that this world’s background has really been changed by the game. If it’s tails, then it says that everything is fake.”
Ding Ling Ling.
The coin landed on the ground. Heads!
Zhang Ye’s vision went black. It wasn’t fake. Everything was real!
Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu
The protagonist is a guy who is among the s*upidest of the s*upidest in the school. In this school, your grades can, under the supervision of teachers, take a virtual form to do combat! However, if you leave an examination half way, you get zero marks. A bright and cute girl, Mizuki Himeji, was having a high fever during the examination. Despite her potential to be the second highest scorer in the level, she obtained zero marks for having left due to her illness and is thus allocated to the worst class, class F.
Grades mean almost everything. For Class A, they have a smart-looking teacher, a plasma TV as big as the entire wall as their blackboard, personal laptops, personal air-cons, refrigerators, adjustable seats and all kinds of different appliances. Within the refrigerator, there are all kinds of drinks and snacks. Their ceiling is made of glass, the wall lets them put up high-class drawings and plants.
As for Class F, the worst class… They have Japanese desks and seat paddings. Their blackboard is dirty and there is no chalk even! Someone complains that the legs of his desk are broken, so the teacher asks, “Didn’t we distribute some glue to stick wood together? Glue it back yourself later.” Another one complains that wind is blowing in from the broken window. The teacher says, “I got it. I will apply for plastic bags and invisible glue to fix it later.” There are spider webs everywhere, not a patch of the wall is clean. A unique moldy smell spreads across the entire room; it must be from the old tatamis used to tile the floor. This is the status of class F.
The protagonist feels displeased at such an arrangement, and seeks help from his friends to try to make a change through summoning war!! And they devise all kinds of plans to try to beat the famous class A, intending to get class A’s classroom and equipment if they win!!
Status: 12 Volumes (Completed)
Where to read: Baka-Tsuki
Comments: Yet to read
Library of Heaven’s Path
Traversing into another world, Zhang Xuan finds himself becoming an honorable teacher.
Along with his transcension, a mysterious library appears in his mind.
As long as it is something he has seen, regardless of whether it is a human or an object, a book on its weaknesses will be automatically compiled in the library.
Thus, he becomes formidable.
“Monarch Zhuoyang, why do you detest wearing your underwear so much? As an emperor, can’t you pay a little more attention to your image?”
“Fairy Linglong, you can always look for me if you find yourself unable to sleep at night. I am skilled in lullabies!”
“And you, Demon Monarch Qiankun! Can you cut down on the garlic? Are you trying to kill me with that stench?”
This is an incredible story about teachers and students, grooming and guiding the greatest experts in the world!
Status: 2,268 Chapters (Completed)
Comments: The comedy punch takes time to build up but the build-up won’t disappoint you and is powerful. Repetitive comedy but an okay read.
The following Chapter is added here with the permission from Webnovel.
Chapter 1: Swindler
“Swindler! Great swindler!”
An enraged roar could be heard. Then, the sound of flurried footsteps on a bluestone pavement echoed.
Zhang Xuan raised both his hands up helplessly and said, “I’m not a swindler, I’m a teacher of the academy… I only want to make you my student! Besides, do you have to add in a ‘great’ at that? You make it sound as though I’m some unpardonable criminal…”
Shaking his head, he suddenly recalled the words of the principal and sighed. “This is the 17th one already! If I fail to find a student today, I’ll have to pack up my stuff and leave tomorrow!”
Zhang Xuan wasn’t a person from this world, he was just an ordinary librarian in a high school. All he could remember was blazing flames, and then… There was nothing after that. When he woke up once more, he was already in this world.
This world was just like those depicted in novels, where the martial arts formed the foundation of the world and the strong reigned supreme!
He thought that since he traversed into another world, he would become a useless talent who was rejected by his fiancée. After which, he would strike back at those fools, slapping them in their face, and his life would proceed smoothly from then on… But it seemed like he was overthinking it! It didn’t take him long to realize that he wasn’t a student but a… teacher!
The most pathetic teacher in the entire academy!
The lectures conducted by other teachers were always overflowing with people, to the point that many people found themselves without seats. On the other hand, there wasn’t a single person in his class. It wasn’t easy at all for him to rope in a few students, but eventually, they ended up labeling him as a ‘swindler’ and escaped from him!
As for the reason… Putting aside the fact that the fellow whose body was taken over by him was the weakest teacher in the entire campus, and that he was inept in picking out talents, the crux of the problem was that… he even taught a student erroneously, causing the other party’s cultivation to go berserk!
This was just like having a dead patient under one’s record! His reputation was sullied, and he became a despised figure in the academy. Even the freshmen chose to stay away from him, fearful that they would land in the same situation if they were to fall into his clutches.
A bad track record and a lack of students caused him to be ranked last in the academy’s Teacher Qualification Examination last year. He even received the very first zero score in the entire history of the academy.
Depressed, the previous host drowned his sorrows through alcohol. In the end, just as he wished, he died, thus providing an opportunity for Zhang Xuan to leap over to this world.
At the start of the new term, the academy issued an ultimatum to him. If he was unable to admit a single student to his lessons at the start of the semester, his qualifications as a teacher would be revoked!
There were seventeen new students who passed by his classroom today, but as soon as they heard his name, every single one of them ran away as fast as their feet could take them, as though young ladies running away from a suspicious uncle.
“I have to find a way to coax at least one of them into my lessons!”
Just as he was scheming a ploy to rope someone into his lesson, he saw a lady with a slightly dazed expression standing at the entrance.
“May I know if this is Lu Xun laoshi1‘s classroom?”
She had a cute and refined appearance, and her sweet voice felt like honey to one’s ears.
Lu Xun laoshi was the academy’s star teacher. His lessons were always packed, and he was the reason why innumerable people chose to attend this academy.
“I’ll take her!” Seeing someone walking straight into his trap, Zhang Xuan’s eyes lit up.
All kinds of ‘acting cool’ techniques he learned in his previous life flashed across his head, and eventually, he chose to sit quietly in his chair, bringing out the disposition reminiscent of a composed and enlightened expert. “You wish to become his student?”
The young lady nodded her head furiously as admiration gleamed in her pitch-black pupils, “I’ve heard that Lu Xun laoshi is the most incredible teacher in Hongtian Academy. All of the students he taught achieved extraordinary accomplishments, and joining his class in itself could be considered an honor!”
“Rumors may not necessarily reflect the truth. Teachers are just like shoes; what is important is whether it fits or not! No matter how well he lectures, if the theories he proposed aren’t compatible with the techniques you practice, not only will you find it hard to advance to higher realms, your cultivation might even regress! Even if a teacher isn’t well-known, as long as his theories complement with your skills, you can still improve swiftly and your cultivation will rise exponentially!”
“Is that so… I’ve also heard my elder brother speaking similar words before!” The young lady pondered for a moment as uncertainty flashed across her beautiful eyes. “However, I don’t know what kind of lessons would suit me!”
Seeing that she was on the verge of biting onto the hook, Zhang Xuan’s eyes lit up. Wise quotes from great sages like Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels flashed across his mind as he slowly sieved through his next words. Feigning a look of difficulty, he said, “Our meeting can be considered as the planning of fate as well. How about this, since I’m also a teacher of this academy, I’ll help you take a look at your bones, talent, and personality, and recommend a suitable teacher to you!”
“Teacher, I’ll be troubling you then!” She didn’t expect a teacher she met by chance would be so accommodating, and she immediately nodded excitedly.
“Display your cultivation first!”
Zhang Xuan’s eyes were half-open, and his slightly lazy and casual posture seemed to say that this matter was merely a walk in the park for him.
A gust of wind whistled within the room from the shockwave generated by the might of the young lady’s punch. Waves of spiritual energy gathered and shrouded the body of the lady. Judging from how her spiritual energy didn’t dissipate immediately, and her powerful but inconspicuous aura, she clearly possessed a solid foundation in her cultivation.
“Alright, I can tell that you’ve been training diligently. Your foundation is solid and your talent is top-notch. You are a hard-to-come-by genius!” After the other party finished a punching routine, Zhang Xuan immediately nodded in satisfaction.
He was imitating the fortune-tellers from the world he came from, using slippery words that had a wide range of interpretations. Through this, it would be hard for those listening to find a flaw in his words. Instead, they would be astonished by how accurate his evaluation was.
“What that stands out is the strength of your legs. They possess immense might, as though a coiling dragon. Every single movement felt like the raging current of a river, overwhelming with strength. As long as you train hard, your future will be bright…”
“Teacher, my legs are injured. The physicians that have diagnosed me said that it’s as good as crippled…” The lady interrupted his monologue with a doubtful gaze.
“Injured…” Zhang Xuan’s face flushed in anxiety. However, as he was thick-skinned, it was impossible for others to tell the difference. He continued to prattle on without showing any signs of embarrassment, “Do you think that I can’t tell that much? I knew it from the moment you exerted your strength! The reason why I said that is because… only through destruction will there be rebirth! Your legs might be injured, but this has presented you with an opportunity. As long as you grasp it, your legs will become your greatest strength!”
In any case, the most important matter at hand was to coax her in. If nonsense could do the work, he would prattle nonsense all day long.
“Opportunity? Teacher, what kind of opportunity do you mean?” Hearing those words, the lady’s eyes lit up.
Ever since her legs were injured, she had always felt inferior to others, resulting in her low self-esteem. She didn’t think that such misfortune would present her with an opportunity instead.
“If you grasp onto this opportunity tightly, you can allow you to soar to the top in a single go. It won’t be too difficult for you to reign supreme among the freshmen. After all, your talents are extraordinary, and a genius of your caliber has yet to appear in history. However…” Zhang Xuan went on and on. All he was short of was to whip out a ‘Buddha’s Palm’ manual at this point.
Upon hearing that she was a genius capable of rising to the top of the freshmen, the girl blushed furiously, and she continued asking, “However what?”
“However…” Zhang Xuan sighed. It was a sigh lamenting that a talent was about to be buried in the dirt. “The teachers who are able to notice and bring out the talent within you don’t number many in this academy! Including me, there are only three who are capable of such a feat. The other two have already stopped accepting students from three years ago… It’ll be difficult for you to acknowledge them as your teacher even if I were to speak up for you…”
“Stopped accepting students?” The lady had her hopes raised by Zhang Xuan’s compliments, but upon hearing those words, her heart sunk. Then, an epiphany struck her and she asked, “They aren’t accepting students, but teacher, are you… accepting any?”
“Of course I am. Just that, as you can tell, I am indifferent to fame and fortune, and I don’t have much time to spare as well!” A look of difficulty flashed across Zhang Xuan’s face. “If one isn’t a superior jade, I won’t take him in even if our paths cross…”
Before he could finish his words, the lady had already kneeled onto the floor, and she kowtowed, “I know that teacher is a powerful expert, but please accept me as your student! I’ll train diligently so as to not embarrass you!”
A surge of joy gushed through Zhang Xuan’s heart, but on the surface, he maintained a conflicted expression. “Fate has brought us together, but… As you can see, I prefer to pass my time quietly…”
“As your student, I promise to never interrupt teacher unless it’s an emergency!” Seeing that the other party was still reluctant, the lady immediately nodded vigorously with an earnest look on her face.
“I don’t have many students, and so, the resources I have cannot be compared to other teachers. Also, you might be criticized by others…” Zhang Xuan continued.
“Is that so… I have heard that training resources are important…” The girl finally hesitated.
The resources a teacher could claim from the academy were directly related to the number of his students, the results of his students, and numerous other factors. These resources were of extreme importance, and without them, it would be difficult to advance one’s cultivation.
“Cough cough, I’ve only those words to test you. Since you’re determined and sincere, I’ll grudgingly accept you!” Noticing her hesitation, Zhang Xuan immediately interrupted her and said, “Let’s affirm our relationship then!”
She didn’t expect that the teacher before her to change his attitude as quickly as flipping the pages of a book. Taken aback, the lady blankly grabbed the token Zhang Xuan passed to her. This token would represent her identity as Zhang Xuan’s student if she were to verify it. Just as she was considering whether she should affirm the relationship, she saw the reticent Zhang laoshi pull her hand over to him and cut a small wound with a sharp dagger. A drop of her blood fell on the jade token.
The girl was a little dumbfounded.
Didn’t the teacher say that he had to consider the matter carefully? Indifferent to fame and fortune, was it? If that was the case, why was his movement so fast and… it even seemed like he had prepared the dagger beforehand?!
“From now on, you are my student!” After the blood authentification, Zhang Xuan heaved a huge sigh of relief. He continued to assume the disposition of an unworldly expert as he asked “What is your name?”
“Teacher, I am Wang Ying!”
Knowing that the decision couldn’t be revoked, the lady chose not to dawdle on the matter and replied respectfully.
“Un, collect your bedding and books through your identity token, and find yourself a lodging. We shall begin lessons tomorrow here!”
Zhang Xuan waved his hands.
“Yes!” Wang Ying nodded before turning around to leave.
“Huu! I have successfully coaxed one in!”
Having successfully admitted a student, Zhang Xuan heaved a sigh of relief and smiled.
It really wasn’t an easy matter to play off as an expert. If not for the techniques in acting cool that he learned from the internet, it would be highly unlikely for him to succeed
With this student, he would be able to avoid the ultimate tragedy of being expelled from the academy. The burden that was weighing on Zhang Xuan’s all his while disappeared, and his spirit felt much more relaxed. Gradually, the obsession lingering in his mind disappeared.
“Rest assured. Now that I’m in your body, I’ll live properly in your stead!”
The previous Zhang Xuan died because of his inability to bring in new students. His regrets was so strong that it continued to linger in this world even after his death. This new student admitted had fulfilled his last regret, and thus, his lingering will faded. Zhang Xuan finally gained complete control over this body.
After settling this matter, Zhang Xuan intended to continue coaxing a few more students in. However, he suddenly felt a tremor in his head, and the ancient bells rang in his head.
“The callous heavens regard all beings as nothing more than straw dogs1…”
“The sun sets and the moon wanes, the heavens are imperfect…”
Profound adages left Zhang Xuan faint-headed. Then, in his mind, a massive palace came into appearance. Above the entrance, four words glowed brightly on a plaque.
Library of Heaven’s Path!
Zhang Xuan pushed open the door and walked in. Innumerable bookshelves stood tall and mighty across the vast space, and countless books of all kinds filled the empty spaces between. The entire space was so immense that he couldn’t even see the other end.
“Could this be the gift pack for transcenders? A library? Damn it, I was also a librarian my previous life. Am I to continue on with this occupation in this life as well?”
The gift packs that others received are old grandfathers, systems, or some overpowered tool. Yet, my gift pack is a library?
Zhang Xuan’s vision turned dark, and he nearly fainted in despair.
Library? What purpose does it serve? Will I be throwing books in fights when the others are throwing swords around?
“Forget it, I should take a look at the books first.”
Helpless, Zhang Xuan reached out to grab a book from one of the bookshelves, intrigued by the purpose of this library. However, his hand simply passed through the bookshelf, causing him to grab empty air.
“Are you playing with me? Giving me a library yet preventing me from grabbing and reading any of the books, what exactly do you want?”
Zhang Xuan was speechless. An urge to cry overwhelmed him, but tears refused to spill out.
Konosuba: God’s Blessing on This Wonderful World!
Kazuma Satou is a shut-in who loves games, and his life ended suddenly… appearing before him is a beautiful girl claiming to be a goddess. Kazuma, who was transported into another world, worked hard to earn a living! He wanted to live a stable life but was burdened with problems caused by the goddess he brought along to the different world with him. He was even targeted by the demon king’s army!?
Status: 13 Volumes Translated
Comments: This novel has an “isekai” theme and this novel is more like a parody and won’t disappoint any light novel readers.
There was a Cute Girl in the Hero’s Party so I tried Confessing
Youki died in a traffic accident and was reborn in a fantasy world! However, instead of being the hero of legends, he ended up reincarnating into an overpowered demon. Having no desires to become the Demon Lord, he sits around in the Demon Lord’s castle as a random low rank guardian.
One day, the Hero’s party comes to attack, and on a whim, he knocks out the entire hero party. Healing up the Hero party and then preparing to send them back to town, he notices the female priest and falls in love at first sight!
Status: 3 Volumes Translated
Where to read: RinkageTranslation
Comments: Yet to read
A Will Eternal
A Will Eternal is the fourth major xianxia novel by the renowned Er Gen. It tells the tale of Bai Xiaochun, an endearing but exasperating young man who is driven primarily by his fear of death and desire to live forever, but who deeply values friendship and family.
Status: 1314 Chapters(Completed)
Where to read: WuxiaWorld
Comments: Comedy Cultivation Novel. Cunning and Shameless main character Harem and slow Romance
If you loved A Will Eternal then You should Read I shall seal the Heavens (Focuses more on Action and Adventure)
Chapter 1: I’m Bai Xiaochun
Mount Hood lay in the Eastwood Mountain Range, and at its base was a quaint little village. The villagers there lived off the land, and didn’t have much to do with the outside world.
Currently it was dawn, and the villagers were congregated at the village gate to see off a young man of fifteen or sixteen years of age. He seemed thin and weak, but had a healthy, fair complexion, and an overall charming appearance. He wore an ordinary green robe that had apparently been washed so many times it was nearly worn through. Something about the way he was dressed, plus the innocent look in his eyes, made him seem exceptionally quick-witted.
His name was Bai Xiaochun.
“Dear elders and fellow villagers,” he said, “I am on my way to learn about immortal cultivation. I shall miss all of you!” The young man wore a slightly pained expression, as if he couldn’t bear to part with his fellow villagers. This made him look even more charming than before.1
The surrounding villagers exchanged glances, shrugged helplessly, and then pretended to look even more reluctant to see him leave.
A white-haired old man stepped out of the crowd and said, “Xiaochun, ever since your dad and mom left us, oh so long ago, you… you have been, er–” he paused for a moment “–such a good kid!!” Seeing that Bai Xiaochun hadn’t left yet, he continued, “Don’t tell me you’re not interested in living forever? All you have to do is become an immortal, and then you can live forever! That’s a really, really long time! Well, it’s time for you to leave now. Even a baby eagle must learn to fly eventually. No matter what situations you run into out there, you have to hang in there and keep moving forward. Once you leave the village, you can’t come back, because your path will always lie ahead, not behind!”
The old man patted Bai Xiaochun kindly on the shoulder.
“Live forever….” Bai Xiaochun murmured. A tremor ran through him, and a look of determination slowly filled his eyes. Under the encouraging gazes of the old man and the other villagers, he nodded his head seriously and looked around at everyone one last time. Finally, he turned and walked away from the village.
As he disappeared off into the distance, the villagers started to look more and more excited. Their forlorn expressions turned to those of joy, and the kind-faced old man began to tremble. Tears even streamed down his face.
“Justice from the heavens! The weasel… is finally gone! Who was it that told him they saw an immortal in the area? Whoever it was, I’m going to give you a huge reward on behalf of the village!”1
The village was soon echoing with cries of rejoicing. Some people even took out gongs and drums and began banging them excitedly.
“The weasel is gone,” someone said, “but oh, my poor chickens. He hated the roosters crowing at dawn, so he somehow got all the kids in the village to eat every chicken we had….”
“Today is the beginning of a new era!”
By this point, Bai Xiaochun was still fairly close to the village, and could actually hear the sounds of the gongs and drums. He even caught wind of some of the cries of excitement.
He stopped in his tracks, a strange expression on his face. After a moment, he cleared his throat and proceeded on his way. Accompanied by the faint sounds of rejoicing, he began to make his way toward Mount Hood.
Mount Hood wasn’t a very tall mountain, but it was covered with thick vegetation. Therefore, despite the fact that it was dawn, beneath the trees, it was dark and quiet.
“Double-Dog told me that he was hunting some wild pigs a few days ago and saw an immortal flying around….” Bai Xiaochun proceeded along, heart thumping. Suddenly, a rustling sound could be heard from some nearby shrubs. It almost sounded like a wild pig, and it immediately caused Bai Xiaochun to grow extremely nervous. The hair on the back of his neck stood up straight as he asked, “Who is it? Who’s there?!”
He quickly pulled four axes and six machetes out of his travel pack, but that in and of itself didn’t make him feel much safer, so he also produced a bit of black incense from within his robe, which he clutched tightly in his left hand.
“Don’t come out!” he shouted, trembling. “Don’t even think about coming out! I’ve got axes and machetes, and this incense can call lightning from the heavens, and even summon immortals! If you dare to show your face, you’re dead!” Finally, he turned and ran toward the mountain path, simultaneously juggling all of the various weapons in his hands. Clanking sounds could eventually be heard as axes and machetes began to fall to the ground left and right.
Perhaps whatever it was that had been rustling around in the shrubbery really did end up getting frightened by him. The sounds ceased, and no wild animal burst out of the bushes. Bai Xiaochun hurried toward the mountain, wiping the sweat from his brow. By this point, his face was pale, and he was almost considering giving up this crazy idea of climbing the mountain, but then he thought about the incense stick, which his parents had handed down to him before they died. Supposedly, it had been passed down from their ancestors, a gift bestowed by a down-and-out immortal they had saved. Before departing, the immortal had given it to them to pay back the kindness they had shown. Furthermore, the immortal had even promised to take a member of the Bai Clan as a disciple. He told them that merely burning the incense stick would summon him to their side.
Bai Xiaochun had actually lit the incense stick more than ten times in the past few years, and yet, no immortal had ever shown up. It had eventually reached the point that Bai Xiaochun was starting to suspect whether or not the story about the immortal was even true. Finally, he’d resolved to climb the mountain. For one thing, the incense stick was almost used up, and also, there was the matter of the flying immortal being sighted recently.
And that was how he ended up in his current situation. His theory was that if he could get a bit closer to the immortal, then perhaps it would be easier for that immortal to sense the incense stick.
Standing in front of the mountain, he hesitated for a moment, then gritted his teeth and decided to keep going. Thankfully, the mountain wasn’t very high, and it didn’t take long to reach the peak, where he stopped, panting. He looked at the village down below, and an emotional expression appeared on his face. Then he glanced at the finger-nail sized bit of black incense. It had clearly been burned on numerous occasions, and was almost completely used up.
“It’s been three years. Bless me, mom and dad. It has to work this time!” Bai Xiaochun took a deep breath, and then carefully lit the incense. A stiff breeze instantly kicked up, and in the blink of an eye, dark clouds filled the sky. Lightning crackled, and deafening thunder boomed in his ears.
The majesty of the entire scene caused Bai Xiaochun to tremble, fearful that he might be killed by the lightning. He very nearly spit on the incense to extinguish it, but managed to hold back.
“I’ve lit this incense twelve times in the past three years, and this is the thirteenth time. I have to let it burn! Come on, Xiaochun! The lightning won’t kill you. At least probably not….” All twelve times that he had lit the incense in the past, there had been lightning and thunder, and yet no immortal had ever appeared. Each time, he had gotten so scared that he spit on the incense to put it out. He actually found it a bit strange that a supposedly immortal stick of incense could be extinguished with some ordinary saliva.
Bai Xiaochun sat there shaking in fear as the thunder boomed around him. Suddenly, a streak of light appeared in the air off in the distance.
It was a middle-aged man wearing luxurious clothing. He had the demeanor of a transcendent being, yet he looked weary and travel-worn. In fact, if you looked closely, his eyes seemed to flicker with extreme exhaustion.
“Finally I can see exactly what moron has been lighting that incense stick all the time for the past three years!”
Every time the man thought about what he had experienced during the past few years, he got extremely annoyed. Three years ago, he had sensed the medicinal aura of an incense stick he had given away back when he was in the Qi Condensation stage. That immediately caused him to recall the debt he owed back in the mortal world.
The first time he flew out in response to the incense stick being lit, he had assumed it would be a simple matter of heading out and then immediately returning. He had never imagined that before even being able to find the incense, its aura would suddenly vanish, severing his connection to it. If it had happened only once, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. However, over the course of three years, the aura had appeared more than ten times.
Over and over again his search was interrupted, ensuring that he was constantly leaving his sect and then going back. Back and forth, back and forth. It was torment.
As he closed in on Mount Hood, he caught sight of Bai Xiaochun. Fuming with numerous frustrations, the man landed on the mountain top and waved his hand, instantly extinguishing the sputtering incense stick.
The thunder ceased, and Bai Xiaochun stared at the man in shock.
“Are you an immortal?” Bai Xiaochun asked cautiously. Still unsure about what exactly was going on, he slipped his hand behind his back and grabbed an axe.
“You may call me Li Qinghou. Are you from the Bai Clan?” The middle-aged cultivator’s eyes shone like lightning as he measured up Bai Xiaochun, ignoring the axe behind his back. To him, Bai Xiaochun seemed delicate, almost pretty, and reminded him of his old friend from years ago. Furthermore, his latent talent seemed suitable. Li Qinghou’s anger gradually began to fade.1
Bai Xiaochun blinked a few times. Although he was still a bit scared, he sat up straight and quietly said, “Junior most definitely is from the Bai Clan. I’m Bai Xiaochun.”
“Alright, well tell me this,” Li Qinghou said, his voice cool. “Why did you light that incense so many times over the past three years!?” He very much wanted to know the answer to this question.
As soon as Bai Xiaochun heard the question, his mind spun as he tried to come up with a good answer. Finally, a melancholic expression appeared on his face, and he looked down toward the village at the bottom of the mountain.
“Junior is a sentimental and righteous person,” he said. “I simply couldn’t bear to part with my fellow villagers. Every time I lit the incense, I was overwhelmed with feelings of sorrow. The mere thought of leaving them behind was far too painful.”
Li Qinghou stared in shock. He had never considered such a possibility, and as such, the anger in his heart faded even more. He could tell from this young man’s words alone that he was definitely good material.
However, the next thing he did was send his divine sense down toward the village, and he heard the sounds of drums and gongs and rejoicing. He even heard the villagers talking about how glad they were that ‘the weasel’ was gone. An unsightly expression appeared on his face, and he felt a headache coming on. He looked back at the charming and pure Bai Xiaochun, who seemed like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, and suddenly realized that this kid was a villain to the core.
“Tell me the truth!” Li Qinghou said, his voice echoing like thunder. Bai Xiaochun was so frightened that he started shaking.
“Hey, you can’t blame me!” Bai Xiaochun said, sounding very miserable. “What kind of crappy incense is this anyway!? Every time I lit it, lightning would start crashing around everywhere! I almost got killed on several occasions! In fact, avoiding that lightning thirteen times was quite a feat!”
Li Qinghou looked silently at Bai Xiaochun.
“If you were so scared, then why did you light it over ten times?!” he asked.
“‘Cuz I’m scared of dying!” Bai Xiaochun replied indignantly. “Isn’t the point of immortal cultivation to be able to live forever? I want to live forever!”
Li Qinghou was once again struck speechless. However, he found the kid’s fascination with living forever laudable, and realized that his personality might change a bit after some hard training in the sect.
After a moment of thought, he waved his sleeve, sweeping Bai Xiaochun up into a beam of light that shot off into the distance.
“Alright, come with me,” he said.
“Where are we going?” asked Bai Xiaochun, suddenly realizing that they were flying. “Ah, we’re so high….” The ground was very, very far down, causing the blood to drain from his face. He immediately dropped his axe and grabbed onto the Immortal’s leg.
Li Qinghou looked down at him clutching his leg. Feeling a bit at a loss, he replied, “The Spirit Stream Sect.”
LOL Novel Series
- The Hero Is Overpowered but Overly Cautious
- My Disciple Died Yet Again
- Running Away From The Hero!
- Losing Money To Be A Tycoon
- Gamers of the Underworld
- Rebirth of the Godly Prodigal
Thanks for reading. These are comedy novel series that is very very funny. Be sure to Read and Enjoy them.
What do you think of the novels on this list? Did I miss any good comedy novels? If I did, be sure to comment.